CASE STUDY

The need to see parenting in a fresh and new light

 Sally and Steve had always looked forward to having children and had both somehow imagined that their children would be smaller versions of themselves - chatty, energetic, and popular. Both Sally and Steve had had a stable family background, done alright at school and progressed to gain "good jobs", so the arrival of children was to be the "icing on the cake". They both eagerly anticipated sharing their interest, lifestyle and enthusiasm with their children who then arrived or shall we say "landed" in their life. For their children where distinctly different from their parents. Their first child Eleanor was cautious, careful, pensive and reserved. She was resistant to change and liked lots of explanations before she'd try anything new. As she got older she became perceptive, inquisitive and very clever with her words. She could detect the tiniest flaw in her parent's lifestyle, attitude and beliefs and she'd challenge them on it, causing her parents to question everything including their parenting style, approach and even themselves.

Parenting Eleanor was tough and Sally and Steve often felt ill equipped, and as if they were doing a poor job. Then came baby George. Again Sally and Steve's world shifted and changed. George was loud, forceful and demanding. He just loved to scream and get attention. In fact he was quite happy to scream all day, every day. As George grew up his excitement increased and he became physically and emotionally demanding. Sally and Steve were now confused. Their children were different from themselves and opposite from one another. Whereas one style of parenting worked with one child it most certainly didn't work with another. So it was time for Sally and Steve to find a more suitable answer. The hit and miss approach wasn't working for them or making them feel any good about their parenting role.

Personality

 Now Sally and Steve are not alone. Most parents face similar challenges with their children but as their parents we are supposed to know what is best for them! But how can we know when we have no manual and the child is too young to actually tell us? Over recent years many, many parents have found that profiling themselves and their children has provided the answer. Profiling one's personality is a very safe, positive and professional way to deal with issues. It helps parents to see things in a new way and to know how and what they need to do to help develop fully. Profiles provide answers to previously unanswered questions, help resolve conflict or issues of contention and help parents build trustworthy, loving and accepting relationships. Above all profiles help parents to feel energized, better prepared and eager to make the experience of managing their children more rewarding for themselves and their children.

Personality Type

 Seeing children in a fresh, new way is the first step to changing old and in-effective ways of relating to them. Personality type is a powerful method of identifying and understanding a person's true nature. (It is however a much debated subject and there is no decision as to whether our personality type is determined by nature or nuture).

Based on the work of Carl Jung and William Marston we can now identify four distinct personality traits which we all have to varying degrees. There is always a dominant trait and a secondary trait and these tend to define who we are and how we choose to behave. Children are no exception.

Our children's personality type affects all aspects of their lives from the way in which they play as toddlers, to subjects or activities they pursue in school, to the occupations they find satisfying as adults. Their personality type affects the amount of interaction they like with other children, the kinds of information they notice and remember, the way they make decisions and how much and what kind of structure and control they prefer.

Knowledge about our child's personality gives us, as parents, a powerful and enlightening way of altering our style and methods to be more positive. The result is fewer struggles and happier children. Knowing and understanding a child's personality offers a virtual road map to the parenting style to which the child will respond best. Once we know what our children need to really thrive, we can find ways of giving it to them today when they need it. So, now at least, we have the CHOICE whether we wish to fully understand our children or not. Is this a choice that you would like to make?

With the BUTLER PROFILE, it is now possible to manage all children positively. Children respond favourably to those who like, appreciate and understand them and respect those who help them through tricky or challenging experiences.
Go to BUTLER PROFILE.

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